NVC Handbook

In this section we explain NVC expressions, concepts and tools that are mentioned repeatedly in the blog posts. Whenever a term appears in a post it is automatically linked to its article page in the handbook.

Of course you can also just stay here, have a cup of tea and browse through the handbook.

(Well, we admit there’s not so much to be found here…YET. But we promise we keep writing!)


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  • Empathic Assumption
    "I hate my boss! He’s complaining all the time and he doesn’t get at all how much energy I have put into the project!" - "Hmm…..are you frustrated, because you’re needing recognition for your work?" When I want to connect with other people empathically I don’t pretend to know how they are(...)
  • Empathy
    Empathy or compassion could be called the heart of Nonviolent Communication. We use both terms synonymously. Empathy is one of the abilities that make us human (witch which I don’t want to claim that animals cannot show compassion! You just have to watch one of the many youtube videos where(...)
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  • Inner Judge
    I am a guy and I am many guys! Well, at least two: my 'acting self' and my 'inner judge'. My acting self is the one who decides to watch four episodes of House of Cards in a row and decides not to blog today. My inner judge's scornful (and silent) commentary will be something like: Your blog(...)
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  • Jackal Show
    Our anger is an important key to our needs. NVC by no means wants us to avoid or suppress our anger. It is a feeling that wants to be lived and experienced like any other feeling and is a crucial part of our liveliness. So what do we do once our anger starts boiling? Screaming it in the(...)
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  • Needs vs. Strategies
    Nobody wants to be seen as needy - yet everyone has needs. The negative connotation of the word 'needy' blocks the view upon what’s important: If we didn’t have needs, there would hardly be a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Needs are the driving factor and cause of our actions. Each(...)
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  • Observation
    „The band was way too loud man, I am totally deaf!“ - „I don’t think so, I think they could have really cranked it up a few notches!" People observe, perceive and evaluate what they observe and perceive. This is a completely natural process that gives us orientation in our world and helps(...)

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